


Broken Heart

by amy_deanna



Category: Stargate SG-1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:34:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28443987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amy_deanna/pseuds/amy_deanna
Summary: After a long emotional and physically draining mission, the one thing on her mind was to go home have a long bath and go straight to bed. Okay maybe two things were on her mind. A bath and the Colonel.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 18
Kudos: 50





	1. Sams POV

**Author's Note:**

> With some persuasion of some friends and feedback and guidance from the amazing XWingKC, I decide to post this little fic! Its my first one, with maybe some more stories to come! Hope you enjoy it!

After a long emotional and physically draining mission, the one thing on her mind was to go home have a long bath and go straight to bed. Okay maybe two things were on her mind. A bath and the Colonel. 

After finally being cleared by Janet and getting changed, she rushed as fast as she could to get to her car, all the while trying to avoid running into her team and trying to not let the tears fall. By the time she made it home, all thoughts of a bath were out of her mind and all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and not get out of it until she had to report back at the base in 72 hours. 

As soon as her front door slammed closed, the tears fell as she slid down to the floor. She just couldn’t understand what had gone wrong and why he was being like this. After what seemed like hours, which had only been about 10 minutes, she made her way to her room. 

That’s when she heard it. It was so soft she wasn’t even sure she had heard anything. Then it happened again. A soft knock on the door. Not wanting to deal with anyone, she stayed as still and quiet as possible, hoping it would be Daniel and he would just take the hint and leave. 

“Carter.” 

Of course, he would come. She knew that if she didn’t acknowledge him at her door he wouldn’t leave. Quickly wiping her face to rid the tears from her face she opened the door.

“Carter.” 

Why did he sound nervous? He wasn’t the one who had their CO belittle them for days and ignore them pretty much every time they spoke.

“Sir.”

With absolutely no emotion to it, he flinched slightly.

“Can I come in?” 

God why couldn’t he just leave me alone!

“Actually, I was just headed to bed, so if you don’t mind.” 

She begins to close the door as he puts his foot out to stop it.

“Sir please I’m really tired and would like to just go to bed. If you need to talk, we can discuss it in the briefing on Monday. Goodnight.”  
Again, the foot did not move but he did to try and come in.

“Sam.” 

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Call me Sam.” 

“Why it’s your name? And were friends, right?”

Is he serious?  
She scoffs. 

“Friends? I thought you were just my CO. Friends don’t treat each other the way you did.”

“Look Sam, I can explain everything.”

“I don’t care.”

She forced him out and slammed the door. But he didn’t leave he just stared at the closed door. When she finally thought he was leaving he just turned and sat on her front porch steps. If he wanted to sit on the steps all night, then fine. But she was going to bed.

When she finally fell asleep it wasn’t a peaceful sleep her dreams filled with the torment her “friend” had put her through the last week. Starting your day by waking up crying was not how she had expected her weekend to be. After a long shower she made her way to the kitchen for some much-needed coffee. And that’s when she saw him through the front window. He was still there on the steps. She immediately became concerned as it was a cold night last night and he had just stayed there. He didn’t even go into his car. 

Quietly opening the door, she knelt to his side and softly tapped his shoulder. She knew he could wake by the slightest sound so when he didn’t wake, she was worried. Tapping him a little harder he finally started to stir and then he opened his eyes. Why did it look like he had been crying, what could he possibly be upset about?

“Why are you still here?”

“Morning to you too.”

“Sir, you shouldn’t have stayed out here.”

“Well, you wouldn’t let me in.”  
“Can you honestly blame me?”

“Look Sam.” 

She gave him that look.

“Carter. I came to explain everything and to apologise.”

“Okay.”

“Can we please go inside to do this? My butts not going to handle these steps for much longer.”

“Alright fine.”

Once finally inside she offered him some coffee and he politely accepted. He started drinking his coffee while she got properly dressed after remembering she was still in her pjs in front of her CO. She took her time getting changed preparing herself for what he could possibly have to say. When she finally emerged, she found him sitting on her couch, so she sat at the other end ready to listen.

“What did I do to make you hate me?”

“WHAT!”

“That’s all I can think of to be reason enough for how you treated me, because a friend would never treat another friend like that.”

“Sam.” 

She gave him the look again

“Sam, I really am sorry, and I really want to explain everything.”


	2. The Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the Kudos and comments! Here is part 2!

Daniel, Teal’c and Carter were all geared up for the mission and waiting in the gate room for the Colonel who was uncharacteristically late.

“Where is he?”  
“Daniel calm down he was probably just getting some extra C4 or cake.” Carter said with a smirk.

“Oh, ha ha. He knows how much I want to see those ruins.” 

“Daniel I’m sure...” Carter didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence because the man they were just discussing finally arrived.

“Gooooood Morning campers! Who is ready for ANOTHER wonderful journey to a planet with trees, trees and more trees?”

Daniel rolled his eyes while Carter tried to suppress a smile and Teal’c stood as stoic as ever.

“Jack! You saw the MALP and those images of the ruins! This is too good of an opportunity to pass up!”

“Yeah yeah. But why do we always have to go to the planets with trees?”

“Jack there are trees on pretty much every planet.”

“Not on the planets the Tokra tend to choose.”

“So, you would rather go see the Tokra sir?”

“Ah no Carter I would not. I would prefer to be at home and not on this stupid mission with trees and rocks. So, let’s just go. The sooner we leave the sooner I get to go home.” Carter flinched slightly.

“Well maybe if you were on time you would have been back home earlier.” 

“Daniel.”

“Jack.”

“DIAL IT UP WALTER.”

They stepped through the gate to P3X-462. The planet was supposed to be uninhabited but that didn’t always mean anything.

“Keep an eye out guys. Carter and Daniel check out the ruins. Teal’c and I will check the perimeter.”

4 hours later and many photos of the ruins Daniel was ready to head back to SGC to start researching and to come back with SG8 in a couple of days to do a more detailed analysis.  
Daniel and Carter packed up all their gear and headed back towards the gate. As they got closer to the gate they could see Teal’c standing guard and Jack sitting on the ground with his back up against a tree. He must have heard them and as he stood, he yelled something to Teal’c. 

“Hey guys! Done already?” 

“For now. I need to go back to my lab and look into this stuff.”

“Alrighty! Let’s go home! Carter dial us up!”

Daniel came to stand by her as she started dialling. 

“Does Jack seem a little off to you?”

“What do you mean Daniel?”

“I don’t know, he just seems to be a little more on edge than usual. Like in the gateroom.”

“I guess a little bit.” As she hit the point of origin on the DHD and the gate started to establish the wormhole. Then it stopped.

“Carter! What did you do!?”

“Sir, I didn’t do anything! I dialled it how I always do and then it just cut out.”

“Dial it again!”

“Yes sir.”

Nothing happened.

“Do it again!”

“Sir it’s not working.”

“Well, something happened to it! Fix it!”

“Jack, it’s not Sams fault the gate isn’t working!” Sam ignored Daniel.

“I’ll just have to open up the base and check the crystals sir.”

“Just do it fast.” Daniel was visibly shocked that Jack was treating Sam like this while Teal’c had just raised his eyebrow and seemed to be as confused as he was.

“Yes Sir.” 

Carter got to work quickly opening the base of the DHD while Daniel just stared at Jack. After a few minutes Jack walked off around the perimeter again and Teal’c just slowly followed him. Daniel sat down next to Sam who he could tell had been thrown by what just happened.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Sam, you can talk to me. That was out of line. Even for Jack.”

“Daniel really I’m fine. He was just doing his job and now I have to do mine so if you don’t mind, I would like to get back to figuring out why we can’t get home.”

“Okay sure. I’ll just be by the trees, let me know if you need anything.” He said with a small smile. To which she responded with a tight-lipped smile. 

A few hours later Daniel who must’ve fallen asleep woke up to a bang and a very impressive swear word he would have never expected to hear come out of Sams mouth. This also brought Jack and Teal’c back to the gate. 

“Carter! Why are you just sitting there and not fixing the gate!”

Daniel saw Sam take the biggest breath and square her shoulders as she turned to Jack.

“Sir, I’ve tried everything I can think of with the limited supplies I have.”

“If you are telling me we are stuck here and can’t get home, I don’t want hear it. Fix the gate!”

“I can’t.”

“YOU WILL FIX IT NOW.”

“Jack!” “O’Neill!” Were yelled at the same time by the remaining members of SG1 concerned about what was unfolding in front of them.

“WHAT.”

“Major Carter has done everything she can think of to fix the gate. Correct?” He looked at Carter.

“Yes.”

“Then there is nothing else that can be done. Which is not Major Carters fault?”

“Whatever. I just want to get away from this place and go home.”

“As do we all O’Neill. But it is no one’s fault.”

Jack sighed and yet again did a perimeter check.

It was night by the time Jack returned to where the team had set up camp. Thankfully they always travel with enough to get them by for a few days if anything like this ever happened.   
Daniel and Teal’c were sat around a small fire but there were no sign of Sam.

“Where’s Carter?”

“She’s getting some space just in the clearing.”

“By herself! She knows not to go alone!”

“O’Neill. Were you not just alone for the past while?”

“That’s different T, I’m in charge.”

“I think we all know Sam can handle herself if something were to happen. Plus, she has her radio.”

Jack clicked his radio on. “Carter.”

“Yes sir.” She replied promptly.

“Get back to camp NOW.”

“Yes sir.” Within 2 minutes there she was arriving back in camp.

“What were you thinking? Going off on your own!”

“Sir I didn’t think it......”

“No, you didn’t think.” He interrupted.

“I’m sorry, sir.” He ignored her.

“Carters on first watch, Teal’c, myself and then Daniel. I’m going to bed.”

Jack went towards the tent on the left which was usually the tent Daniel and Teal’c shared.  
“Ah Jack that’s our tent.”

“Not tonight. Daniel you’re bunking with Carter.”

They sat around the fire a little longer before Teal’c said his goodnight and went to kelno’reem. Daniel stared at Sam who looked like she was ready to break. She knew he was looking at her, but she was not about to cry on a mission just because her CO gave her a dressing down.

“Daniel you should head off too.”

“If you’re sure?”

“Yeah. Goodnight.”

“Night Sam.”

The morning came by quick and Sam was feeling more tired than ever after not getting any sleep thinking about what she could have done to upset the Colonel yesterday. Which is when she realised that the SGC never dialled through to them which is standard if a team is overdue for check in or return.

She quickly pulled on her boots and ran out of the tent where she ran in to Jack.

“Geez, watch it Carter.”

“Sorry sir. I just realised the SGC never dialled through.”

“You only just realised. They should have dialled through yesterday. Wow I guess it’s no wonder you can’t fix the gate if you can’t remember simple procedure.”

“I um...” She stuttered as he walked off.

Daniel and Teal’c returned to camp from the ruins about an hour later and found jack sitting by the fire which had been put out at first light.

“Where’s Sam?”

“In her tent.”

“Oh. Is she not up yet?”

“She woke up, ran into me and then went back in the tent.”

“What did you do?”  
“What makes you think I did anything?”

“Cause to be honest you’ve an asshole to her for the past day.”

“Watch it Daniel.”

“No Jack. You are being rude and it’s hurting her.”

“I don’t care Daniel. I’m her CO not her friend.”

“Wow. That’s low. Even for you.”

Inside her tent Sam quietly held herself as the tears begin to slide down her face. Then she heard it. The gate activating!

She grabbed her p-90 and got prepared if it wasn’t the SGC.  
Running out of the tent carefully so she wouldn’t run into anyone again she arrived as a MALP came through. 

“SG1 this is General Hammond do you copy?”

“Oh, thank god. Yes, General we are here!”

“You’re late Colonel.”

“Yeah, we had gate trouble Carter couldn’t fix.”

Carter looked down at her feet to stop herself from crying at the way he had basically said it was all her fault.

“I see. Major Carter what do you need?”

Jack stepped away from the MALP and she listed somethings she needed, and Hammond said they would send it through within the hour.

“YES HOME. Carter as soon as the stuff comes through, I want you fixing the gate.”  
She looked down again.

“Carter, did you hear me?!” She looked up.

“Yes sir.”

“Good. Daniel and Teal’c lets pack up camp. Carter you wait here.”

Daniel and Teal’c exchanged glances before looking back and forth from Jack to Sam.

A couple of hours later they were walking through the Stargate into the SGC when Sam fell to the ground.

“Sam.”

“Carter.”

“Major Carter.”

“Medical team to the gateroom.” Seemed to all be yelled at the same time.  
Janet came rushing in with her team.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know! We just stepped through and the collapsed. She seemed fine!”

“Alright let’s get her to the infirmary.”

“SG1 report to the infirmary also.” They heard Hammond over the speaker.

By the time the rest of the time got to the infirmary after handing of their packs Janet already had Sam hooked up to the monitors.

“How is she Janet?” Daniel asked with concern written all over his face.

“She’s fine. Just dehydrated. Did she not drink anything while you guys were gone?”

Daniel looked at Jack and at least he had the sense to look a little guilty.

“Colonel?”

“I’m not sure Doc.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter now, I’ve got her on fluids, and she should be fine in a few hours and she can go home. Why don’t you guys get your checks done then I’m recommending 72 hours down time.”

Sam woke an hour or two later slightly dazed.

“Hey Sam, how are you feeling?” Janet asked.

“What happened?”  
“You fainted from dehydration just after you stepped through the gate.”

“Oh. I just thought I was over tired.”

“Did you not sleep?”

“Ah no.”

“Is everything okay Sam? The rest of SG1 seemed a little different when you guys came back.”

“Yeah, I guess we are all just tired.”

“Well, you can go home in a few hours and then you’re off for 72 hours.”

“Thanks Janet.”

After Sam could leave, she headed for the locker room the rest of SG1 long gone. After changing, she rang the guard at the gate to see if her team had left. They hadn’t. Which was odd since the Colonel was adamant on going home. She rang the one person who would know. Walter. He informed her they were in the Generals office and if she wanted to be put through. She said no. If they wanted her there, they would have waited for her. She quickly left before she would run into them. No, not them. Him.


	3. The Explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack finally talks with Sam.

She doesn’t know how long they sat there in the quiet before he finally spoke.

“Look Sam, I really am sorry about everything. The past few days. The way I treated you. And there really is no excuse for it but I do want to explain everything to you. Firstly, I need you to know that there is nothing that you did or could do that would EVER make me hate you.”

“Then why? Why would you say the things you did and act like that?”

She couldn’t stop the tears that escaped.   
He saw her start to cry and he hated himself for making her feel that way. The one person he never wanted to hurt. He wiped the tears from her cheek and pulled her into him. Breathing a sigh of relief that she let him hold her. They stayed that way for a while until she pulled back slightly. Looking at him begging him to tell her.

“Last weekend was Charlie's birthday. So, I did what I do every year I got blackout drunk and pushed the people I care about away from me. The next day I went to visit him. It's always the day after or before. I can never go on the day because it always just reminds me more that he's not here. That he's not here opening presents, having cake and here with us. I'd been there for about half an hour when Sara came. I haven't seen her since that incident at the hospital, I mean I've gotten letters from her, I've just never sent any back. She told me she came on all three days to see Charlie because she needed to see me.” 

He had to stop and take a deep breath.

Sam reached for his hand and held it tight knowing that he'd need her support even though he treated her badly. She knew that for him talking about Charlie is the hardest thing for him to do.

He took comfort in the pressure she was holding his hand with and he squeezed back.

“She’s getting married again.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t get me wrong I’m happy for her, she deserves to be happy, to have another chance. And she’s getting it.”

Sam looked at him with questions in her eyes. What did he mean exactly?

“She pregnant. A boy.” 

He closed his eyes. He just needed a second to compose himself. But she never let go of his hand. If anything, she held it tighter and pulled their joined hands into her lap so he would have to turn more towards her.

He needed a minute, she knew, well she didn’t, she couldn’t imagine losing a child, but she knew Jack and she knew that this was breaking him.  
He was scared. Scared to look back to her and see pity in her eyes. He didn’t want pity from anyone which is why he barley spoke about Charlie. When he looked at her, he saw sadness, worry, care and love. 

“Sir, I…”

“Please Sam, can we drop the Sir?”

“Jack. I’m sorry. I don’t know…”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just needed you to Know that I don’t hate you and that I am truly sorry by the way I treated. If you wanted to report it I’m okay with that. I deserve it.”

“I’m not going to report you. I just wish that you had told us what was bothering you.”

“I can’t tell them. They would look at me differently.”

“Who? Daniel and Teal’c?”

He nodded.

“Jack that’s who they are. If they looked at you differently would it even matter? They love you. We’re a family.”

“Do you?”

“What?”

“Never mind.”

They sat on the couch for a while. His hand still in hers as they quietly drank their coffees. When Sam had finished, she asked the question that had bothered her since he told her about Sara.

“You said you were happy for her. Happy that she is having another chance?“

“Yeah.”

“I know that losing Charlie is the hardest thing you’ve ever been through and I can’t imagine what it’s like. But if you are happy for her, then why? Why act that way?”

He took a deep breath.

“She is getting her second chance and I never will. I know it sounds petty, but if she’s able to have this chance why can’t I? Why can’t I have the chance to have a family again?”

She didn’t know how to respond to that.

“You never know what the future has install for you.”

“But I do. There’s only one person I could ever dream about having a second with. And I can’t be with her.”  
“Jack.”

“Sam this year has been one of the worst. You almost died in front of me. HECK I even killed you. And those stupid mines. I never even thought about having kids again until I got to know you. And then like another blow to heart, I’m not allowed to have you or tell you how I feel.”

She started to cry, and he pulled her into his arms for the second time today.

The stayed in each other’s arms for who knows how long.

“Jack, you have to know that I do.”

“You do what?”

“Love you.”

He held her tighter and kissed the top of her head.

“I love you too.”


	4. 359 Days Later

He had barely opened his eyes when he heard a knock at his door. The last thing he wanted was a visitor, especially today. So, he ignored it. A few minutes had passed, and he was glad whoever it was had left. As he made his way to the kitchen for drink number one of many, he stubbed his toe and let out a great curse that his Mom would have given him a whack for.  
Knock Knock. Shit. He stayed quiet again. Another knock.

“Jack?”

What was she doing here? He slowly mad his way to the door and opened it.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here Sam?”

They had gotten better at calling each other by their first names when they weren’t at work, although the occasional “Sir” and “Carter” would slip out.

“I thought you might like some company?”

“I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me right now. That I would have made you hate me.”  
“Why would I hate you?”

“Because I did it again. I pushed you away. We lost Daniel and I pushed you away.”

“Jack, I don’t hate you. Yes, admittedly I’m a little pissed, but I know you needed to figure things out in your own way.”

“So why are you here?”

She lifted her hand to show the bag she was carrying.

“I thought that we could spend the day together, have some drinks and maybe share some cake.”

“Why?”

“I guess I thought we could celebrate Charlie’s birthday and just be Sam and Jack today. I didn’t want you to be alone.”

He just looked at her.

“Maybe I was wrong. Um…. I’ll just go. But please call if you want to talk. Anytime.”

As she started to turn away, he grabbed her hand and she turned to look at him. With tears in his eyes, he asked her.

“Stay? Please?”

She pulled him into her arms.

“Always. I’ll always stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is! Thank you for all the love on this story! It has been a fun journey and has inspired some more stories!


End file.
